Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media
They’re coming to you, obviously, because of an emotional conflict situation where they decided to part ways. Have you found out that or have you experienced this? They sit down, they start talking about it, and then all of a sudden realize we can resolve those conflicts.
Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Richmond County, NY
Yes, I have happy, happy times, generally a couple times a year, where people will decide. And I will bring it up. Divorce mediators almost never bring it up.
See, divorce lawyers at the first session have an ethical obligation to explore the possibility of meeting the husband or the wife. Is there any possibility if I ever send you to a priest or a pastor or an imam or a rabbi, whether you could try to save the marriage.
Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media
Wait a minute, wait a minute, I’m interrupting. You said you have an ethical obligation. Is that, because that’s the first time I’ve ever heard of this.
Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Richmond County, NY
Really?
Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media
Yeah.
Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Richmond County, NY
Every matrimonial attorney… I’m licensed in New York, New Jersey, and Florida, in all three states. That’s the case, I think it’s the case in all 50 states. You have an ethical obligation to explore the possibility for the public good to see whether or not the marriage could be saved.
Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media
Well, I haven’t got divorced, so I don’t know that, that’s why I’m asking.
Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Richmond County, NY
It’s also the way you talk. When I talk about children, I’ll use, are you concerned about minimizing the harm to the kids that God gave you? We sometimes will talk about, what epitaph would you like on your headstone in the cemetery or in the mausoleum?
Would you want to say, I hate my father because he was the biggest MF in the world, he hurt us and just wanted to hurt mommy? Or is it going to say, no, mommy really loved us or daddy really loved us and thank you for putting us first in your divorce. I know it was painful for you too, but at least we were spared the hurt of that divorce.
So yeah, I frequently bring in a picture of a headstone, and we type in different things. Which way would you like to be thought of? And sometimes they say, you know, I guess you’re right. I guess the four children that God gave us are not four library books that we check in and check out. No, I said, you’re going to have to account to God for the job you did raising those kids, okay?
So, when they think about it that way, some of the nonsense, you know, look, you want to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, then have the decency to declare the marriage over. Do it in a nice way, don’t serve the person on Valentine’s Day, don’t tell your kids on Christmas Eve.
I mean, there’s so many mean, cruel things that I’ve seen over the years.
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