Video – Divorce Mediation Attorney Bill Leininger Explains How A Divorcing Couples Future Life Is More Important

Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media

So, Bill, what I heard you just say was that you help people look to the end result and get them to focus on the end result rather than the emotion that they’re feeling at that exact moment. Yeah, that’s not the end result.

Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Staten Island, NY and Sarasota FL

No. Another kind of example we get: someone will be going on and on about a particular item, and I’ll say, excuse me, but what is this trinket that you, how much is that worth? Well, it’s worth $200, but you really want to spend $5,000 in lawyers’ fees? You got to look at your priorities and focus on the important things: your kids, the quantum of time you’re going to have with your kids, the support, if it’s a support case, and that type of thing.

And this is not just, you know, where you get all your licks in and you get your pound of flesh because it doesn’t work out that way. Got to look at the big picture.

Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media

Well, it sounds like—well, let me just clarify something. You’re, needless to say, not just a divorce mediation attorney, but you’re a divorce attorney, certified divorce attorney also. And so you can see both aspects, concentrating, though, on divorce mediation. Your goal, and that’s what I want to leave the viewer with in mind, your goal is to get those—that group, you know, your client and the other side, or actually, they’re both your clients, what am I saying? But your clients, to see the end result, and what can be an amicable resolution. Is that a simple way to say it?

Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Staten Island, NY and Sarasota FL

Yeah, the one example of things that we do to get people to think—sometimes people will, we’ve taken very nasty positions, you know. And I’ll bring in a little make-believe picture of the tombstone. And I said, which of the two tombstones would you like to have when you die, because we’re all going to die, and have your kids look at it. And one will say, you know, Dad was, you know, the greatest Dad in the world, you know, and I love him, I always will love him. The other one says, my Dad was no good piece of crap. And he made my mom’s life miserable and made me and my siblings’ lives miserable. Go to hell. And you got to start thinking about things. What’s the relationship going to be at the end of the divorce? Big picture.

Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media

Do you find that people don’t think about that?

Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Staten Island, NY and Sarasota FL

But they see the difference. You talk about experience. I tell people, you want a divorce lawyer and divorce mediator, preferably who’s been practicing for 10 to 20 years. Why? Because you like middle-aged divorce lawyers? No, because a lot of times that will weed out those who are just in it for the money. Right. And those who say… ah, I had cases years ago, 100. 200. $275,000 divorces. People would fight for three years. And over the years, you start saying to yourself, for what? You know, you wasted three, four years of your life in court. The kids aren’t speaking to you anymore. The kids may be peeing in their pants for the next 20 years because of what you and your spouse did to them. Why don’t you think about the big picture?

So, I can say that because I’ve seen the detritus, the harmful effect that running into court causes. So, the last place you want to go is to a courthouse. I don’t mean to say anything bad about judges. When you’re assigned to domestic relations and what they call out in some states or divorce cases, very rough, you know. It’s not like I have a, you know, a big corporate litigation and everything else. No, it’s down and dirty.

Sometimes, especially if the courts allow evidence of abuse, adultery, drug addiction, can be very seamy. And then sometimes people say, my first witness is going to be a 12-year-old. I want him or her to come into court. To say what mommy was doing with her boyfriend in the living room. Something like that. I don’t call 12-year-olds to the witness stand. You want to screw them up for the rest of their life.

So yes, having someone who’s seen both worlds knows which one is right. Now, I don’t mean to say there are not cases when you have no choice. There are probably 5% of cases. You have no choice. The classic example is a person has a cash business. And I tell people, look, I’m not, you know, the Florida Department of Taxation or New York State Department of Taxation or the IRS. When you guys report, you know, it’s between you and your conscience, although obviously you have an obligation to tell the truth. But think about how it’s going to affect your case.

I’ve had cases where one party comes in saying, I’m a busboy. I make $20,000 a year. And of course, I looked out my window of my law office and in the parking lot, the guy was driving a $110,000 AMG. So, I would then say to him, look, you can cheat anyone you want, but you can’t cheat your kids for child support. And you can’t cheat your spouse for alimony or temporary maintenance. It’s just that it’s not right. And I’m not going to get involved with that.

So, then the truth is going to come out. And then it’s going to be almost impossible to settle the case. Think about it. If someone says they’re taking $20,000 a year, but they really own the business and they’re driving a $100,000 car, how do you settle that case?

Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media

Yeah, exactly that. Well, Bill, thank you very much for the legal commentary interview. We’ll have you on again, of course, every single month for the next 12 months. Appreciate your time and we’ll talk to you again.