Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media
Because we’re human, everybody has a different type of style, and that’s one of the interesting things I read about when I was preparing for this interview, that they talked about the style of mediation. And you know, so I ask you, what is, as a divorce mediator, what is your style and how do you approach, you know, the two parties at the beginning and is that same approach consistent throughout the entire process?
Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Richmond County, NY
Well, I want the people to, I ask them to, you know, tell us a little bit about yourself, you know, so I get a little flavor and we don’t want to focus just on the past and on, you know, misdeeds, you know, I don’t need to know that the husband had 19 girlfriends over the last five years, or the wife had, you know, five boyfriends.
Because divorce, for example, in New York State, has now been no-fault for over 15 years, we don’t have to get into that. Who was sleeping with who? What part of your body did your spouse attempt to cut off while you slept, okay? We don’t have to get into that stuff.
And I can’t tell you how happy the judges were when that was taken off. I don’t really care what happens. If you guys can’t work it out, then move on, have the good grace then to move on.
Now, divorce mediators and divorce lawyers are torn, many of us, philosophically. A lot of people feel it’s too easy to get divorced.
You know, I’ll never forget when the no-fault law came in and I had a conservative religious person and they said, I want you to object, I want you to fight the divorce. I said you’re going to lose the judge will think I’m in space cadet. No, please do it. And I got up and I said, judge my client denies the allegations of his wife that the marriage had been irretrievably broken. They went to Atlantic City a couple weeks ago and they had a wonderful time together for a long weekend. They had sexual relations several times. They were still very close together and that my client believes that with some marital counseling, the marriage can be saved.
And the judge was sort of a tough judge. And she said, good try, Mr. Leininger. But I’m sure you’ve explained to your client that whether we agree or disagree with the philosophy, this is divorce on demand in this state. Right. There is no defense. You may think the marriage is not irretrievably broken, but I must grant a divorce if the other party tells me it is.
See, so some people feel it’s gotten to the point where that’s divorce on demand without any waiting period or anything.
You know, I’ve been married 54 years. My wife and I fight every day, okay? It’s human nature. Being married is not easy, you know? And it’s very, and you have to work at it.
And sometimes, you know, people, I get people coming to me, they’re married for like four weeks and they’re getting divorced. I tried everything I could. But the furniture hasn’t come.
You need to have some more time to try a little bit more to save the marriage.
Ray Hrdlicka – Host – Attorneys.Media
Right, right.
Bill Leininger – Divorce Mediation Attorney – Richmond County, NY
A lot of people, that concept of a long-term commitment, it’s frankly unknown.
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